just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
