Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
