The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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