it hurts more in the daytime
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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