I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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