she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
