I think my fart just growled at me.
you didnt know i had herpes?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
