I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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