U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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