yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
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he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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