went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize