the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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