I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
