so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
