how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Randomize
