Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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