I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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