Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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