We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
