Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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