Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
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