I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS