so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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