whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
