She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Randomize
