well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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