No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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