So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I will pee on everything he values.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
