Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
