I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
