i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
