So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
