So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
