just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
