so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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