Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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