So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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