My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
