how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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