Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
