don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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