Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The air taste purple.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
