Please, let me fuck your mom
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
