K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How external is "for external use only"?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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