Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
