We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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