There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Enjoy the penises
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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