Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
