Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
