Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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