Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize