My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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