Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
