How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
