Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
