Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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