38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
