just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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