Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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