The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I've blown a few things in my day
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
How many fucks given?
0.12846
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
