we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
