I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize