I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
