I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
