big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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